september saw a month of tears, and I'm thanking god that you weren't here, to see me like that;; six

-Two months later-
The night before Jonny left, we spent every moment together. We sat on the balcony of my house watching the cars drive by. I moved one of my mom's flowerpots and found my pack of cigarettes. I only did it when I was stressed or upset. I was both of those things tonight.

I lit the cigarette and exhaled the smoke into the midnight sky. I tapped the cigarette and Jonny smirked at me. He didn't like it, but he knew it wasn't a constant thing with me. As I finished, I blew out the rest of the smoke and put the butt in my pocket.



"I'm done, you can come over here."

He laughed and wrapped his arms around me. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the comfort. He draped his flannel shirt around my shoulders as I deeply sighed. This was my last night with him before he left. I couldn't believe how fast this summer flew by.

"Jon, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Do you really believe we'll last while you're gone?"

He deeply breathed out and pulled me closer to him, "Of course I do, why do you ask that?"

"I don't know. I'm just worried that you'll see another girl on campus and wish you never made me your girlfriend."

He spun me around and looked me sternly in the eye. I felt my stomach turn, "Hey, I wouldn't think that. I really do love you and I'll make this work, if it kills me."

I chuckled and glanced at my feet, "okay, I believe you."

He just shook his head and draped his arms around me again. Suddenly a tear rolled down my cheek and hit his arm. He mirrored my sad expression as another tear fell from my eyes.

"Let's get out of here."

I nodded as we went out to his car. We took another drive around town. It already looked different. This place wasn't going to be special without him. I hated living here, but with him around, he made it special. It's just not going to shine the same when he's gone.

As we stopped at a red light, Jonny suddenly banged the steering wheel as his cheeks started to burn. I watched him intently as he mumbled something to himself before he looked at me.

"This growing up stuff, just isn't for me. I'm honestly scared to death about leaving for college. I just don't wanna let you go."
-The next morning-
Jonny stood there at the trunk of his fathers Honda Pilot, his dark eyes glowed so perfectly as the September sun hit them. He gently grabbed my hand. He held it in a matter as if it would shatter underneath his touch. My heart played hopscotch inside of my chest, and my breath got stuck in my throat. The autumn air trickled into my neck and caused me to shiver, I looked up into his angelic eyes and opened my mouth to speak.

"I can't believe you're finally leaving."

"Ally, you knew this day was gunna come."

"I know, I just didn't think it would happen this fast."

"Neither did I, but it's for the best. This year we'll be over before you know it."

I really didn't want to believe what he was saying. My heart was telling me different. I never expected this. I never thought I was gunna fall so hard for him. I was in love with him, and he knew it. I would be going into my senior year of highschool now. I couldn't wait for Graduation.

"Jonny, we gotta go. You have a practice in 6 hours." His father said as he went into the drivers side of the car.

My eyes began to well up with tears as I let out a shaky breath. The sun was slowly setting higher up into the sky as it was only 6am. The September wind was chilling me and Jonny pulled me close to his chest. I choked back on my tears and tried my hardest not to show him how much this was hurting me. But in reality, it was breaking every inch of my heart.

"Ally. I'll be home thanksgiving weekend. Your birthday falls on that weekend, I don't want to miss that for the world."

"That seems so far away."

"It won't be."

"I know. Dammit, I know that. I'm sorry. This is for your career, you have to go. I'll be fine."

He gently touched the side of my face as his eyes looked sympathetic, "I promise to phone you every chance possible."

"I'd like that."

I heard the car start and my heart sunk deeper as the tears finally poured out of me. He snaked his arms around my neck and pulled me close. I felt safe pressed against his chest. His scent tickled my nose, and the blood pulsed in my heart, causing it to beat much faster. I'll never find this with anyone else. No one made me feel like this. It was killing me to know this was it. That he had to go. I had to let him go ...

"Cmon, Jonny, let's go."

I could hear the agitation in his fathers voice, I knew this was it, "You really should go. We can't stand here forever."

"I understand. Don't forget, that I love you, no matter what."

"I love you too, Jonny."

Jonny gently pulled me from his body and gave me one of the softest, most gentle kisses on my mouth. I gripped harder onto his UND hoodie as he deepened the kiss a bit. He abruptly pulled away cause he knew, if we had the strength, we'd stand on his curb and kiss each other all day.

He broke away, and caressed my cheek with his hand. I closed my eyes and took in his touch for the last time. My face scorched a hundred degrees when he kissed my forehead. As he did that, a single tear escaped my eyes and slid down my cheek.

His hand slipped out of mine like silk as he got to the passengers side. I heard his footsteps crunch underneath the leaves, the sound echoed inside of my head as the door shut. His dad put the car in gear and they slowly rolled down the street.

I watched the car drive off into the horizon and I felt my body getting ready to collapse again. I turned around and sat on my porch. I brought my hands up to my eyes and began to sob hysterically. I missed him already.

I felt like I sat out there for hours. Watching the city wake up and get ready for their day. I stuffed my hands into my hoodie pocket and felt something cold. I fished it out and was shocked.

My hands held a gold chain that had a "#19" charm, and a hockey puck on it. I played with it in my hands. It was Jonny's lucky necklace. He wore it to every single game no matter what. I smiled and placed it on my own neck, fiddling with it every chance possible. I had a part of him with me, a part I knew would never go away.

I shivered deeper and headed back into the house. All I wanted now was a warm bed and Jonny wrapping me up in his arms. I knew I could only have one of the those things, until may.